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Naying the naysayers

I’m not one to put much stock in what people say. Granted, there are the occasional hiccups, when someone says something utterly devastating to my ego. I listen and ponder it too long for my own confidence’s good. Then I move on. I wasn’t born with that power though, it was forged in the steely graves of teenage carefree happiness, hope, and dreams.

For the longest time, I didn’t grasp certain opinions were digs at me and my dreams. It started to sink in. I began to question myself and my goals. I stumbled. I fell. I might have even cried. Then I did what my mom inspired me to do – I picked myself up and gave the world a middle finger as I went on my way to achieve what my heart desired. Obviously, it took more time than writing words on a blog could convey, but it happened. I learned to disregard most of the opinions crossing my path. I learned to have goals releasable to the public, as well as hidden ones. I learned stubbornness could be used as a bridge to my journey, not a throw away characteristic. I learned to fight for myself in quiet, yet dedicated ways.

As a reminder to those of you who are bound and determined for greatness – most people will not “get it.” Many of your friends will self-eliminate from dreams and ambition because the work required to get there is too difficult for them to follow through. They don’t want to put in the work. They don’t want to find ways to make the pieces fit. They don’t want to get up after being knocked down. Those people may have a place in your life, but their place is not besides you on your path to reaching your goal. They might cheer for you once you get there, but they were likely telling you how impossible your ideas were. They might have told you how unrealistic your goals were. They might have told you they only said these things out of love and consideration for you. Rather, they said things out of fear, possibly jealousy, maybe projected self-doubt. They don’t understand because they never got there, they don’t understand how to get there, or worse – they don’t believe in you.

Allow me this moment to piss on your party though. Many goals require talent and/or hard work. If you don’t have the natural talent, you may have to work your ass off to reach your dreams. If you’re not willing to do that, your dreams are probably just dreams and not goals. It’s one thing for people to point at your lack of talent and disregard your ability work yourself into a higher skillset. It is another thing for people to be hesitant because you have a history of not recovering after failure or a poor work ethic. If neither of these are you, those naysayers deserve no more than a roll of the eyes as you move along. If this might be you, you have some show-and-tell to do with your friends to gather support you might need.

Reaching a goal can be a lonely endeavor. You may have few friends, if any, wanting to help you along. Honor those that help you. Encourage others. Really, encourage others. Doubt is so thick and pervasive. A little encouragement could mean a lot to someone. Getting to where you need to be is more than shutting down the naysayers. It’s being someone else’s hope. Show us how it’s done.


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