Skip to main content

i against i

photo by Eric Chin
I’m slowly reclaiming my time back after a press on the Crossfit Games training. No, I didn’t make it to the games. Yes, I would have liked to. No, I have no regrets about anything I did.


I had a fun run at the extended training when I was named as an alternate. It was good to have a few more weeks to see more progress. It wasn’t enough time, but there was a noticeable difference from a few weeks ago. My body wasn’t as tired. I wasn’t as slow. What was heavy was getting lighter. I was able to string some muscle ups together and for some reason had a crazy itch to do 30 butterfly pull ups during my interval sets. That may not be astounding or reason for a look of shock and awe for some, but for me it was a nice kick in the pants that said “you’re back, now get to work.”

As part of my reclaimed time, I’ve done more reflection on the past few months. I understand where people were coming from when they said “you just had a baby, you’re doing great.” To me, I wasn’t. But yeah, I wasn’t too shabby either. Really. I believe it now. It wasn’t necessarily a trial of physical ability, but a trial of guts and heart. At some point, we have to realize that while we are playing at being adults, we have to make big people decisions. As a practicing adult, I have a lot of wants. Perhaps too many. I want to be good at everything – a Crossfitter, a service member, a professional, and a parent. AND I want that all to fit into a 24 hour schedule without going crazy and losing sleep.

It’s reasonable to say that sometimes I want the impossible. Instead of saying it is all crap, giving up, crying, stomping off in a fit, and throwing a tantrum, I do what practicing adults try to learn to do – I coped. I dealt with my schedule the best I could. I got sleep whenever I could. Sometimes I accepted that today was going to be a shit day in suck city. I survived. I improved. I learned.

I’m on my way to being in a better spot than before I was pregnant. I’m getting stronger and my skills are coming back. More importantly, I’ve learned how to fit crazy gym time training in with being a parent. I’ve learned that when push comes to no shit shove, my priority list is x,y,z. Priceless. I learned how to change mental directions at the drop of a dime. Just when I thought I was done, I wasn’t, back to it I went. I’ve learned that in my list of wants, I have to trim the fat. That means giving everything in what little time I’ve dedicated to an item on a never ending list of wants. There’s no room for half-assing, Johnny fuck around, or douchebaggery. I’ve been mentally stretched in every direction. I’m glad to have survived. I’m still letting everything steep and learning what I can. Not that I recommend burning the candle at both ends of a type-A personality. However, if you don’t kill yourself or burnout, what you learn is good stuff.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dream Planning Realization #1

For quite some time, I could tell my life has been slipping away from me. Not in that dying sort of way, at least not physically. However, I have sunken more into my work in the name of having a better life and all I have to show for it is - more work. Not exactly the way I thought I'd be digging myself out of the work hole. It isn't that I view my work as a hole and am unhappy with it. I love my jobs. I do. And that's part of the problem. They give me a means to meet other needs, while still being pretty darn likable. So I don't realize when I need to pull back to focus on the other things in my life. You know about the other things - friends, family, health, wellness. Things. Example - I work to earn money so I can take my family on trips to neat places. I have worked. I have made money. We haven't gone anywhere. For the past few years, my brother has been living in different places and it wasn't until recently that we ventured out his way for a visit. We m…

I'm Still Alive

Really. I am. Go figure the moment I have time to write something is the moment it all leaves me. I've been keeping a notebook to write things down throughout the day. It's done wonders for my shopping lists, my "to Google later" list, and my WTF Why Not list. Totally forgot about the blogging though. In the mean time, let me tell you that I'm still me. I've spent more time working than working out and I'm fighting to find my way through it all. I'll let you know how it goes. So far, I've identified my shortcomings: the office candy dish, lack of better options, not going to bed earlier, and straying off tasks. Stay tuned for what the hell I do to find myself back to my sane spot...

Beauty of things

I will miss Michelle Obama. She was classy and beautiful despite what the Facebook trolls would have you believe. She was an accomplished woman with a legal career before she stepped foot in the White House. She could be formal and she could dance the Dougie. She sang Carpool Karaoke and she spoke eloquently during official functions. She cared about the health of the youth of this nation. I was touched by how grounded she was and inspired by her achievements as a person, wife, and mother. I expected to read nasty comments by Facebook trolls, but I wasn’t ready to personally experience hearing negativity about her. The blatant comparison of her to a primate was ridiculous. Absolutely, ridiculous. If there is any animal to compare her to, it is a unicorn. While that comparison was as in-your-face as it could be, others were not. Beauty/class has returned to the White House. I heard that a few times. You can veil your disrespect as much as you like, but it’s quite easy to pull that on…