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Dealing with Disappointment

Disappointment sucks ass. Really. In the language of lolcat - rly, srsly. I speak of disappointment because I am disappointed...in myself.

It's Crossfit Open time. Giving myself some slack for recovering from having a baby five months ago, I decided I really want to be in it for fun. Then I got injured. I hurt my back and had to take some time off from training. THEN I got sick and had snot and phlegm draining nonstop.

So WOD 12.1 rolls on by. I told myself if I got at least 100, I would not do the WOD again. I got 104. Not great, but was acceptable. 12.2 came by. I was doomed. My pelvis was still unstable. I was in the middle of a drill weekend. I changed squadrons and forgot my food and water in the midst of rushing to get out of the door at o'dark:30. I had to do the workout by myself, hungry, dehydrated, and tired. 65 would be acceptable. I got 90. I was happy. WOD 12.3 was announced. I knew it would happen - toes.to.bar. Crap. And crap is how I performed. I wanted 9 rounds and fell WAY short with 7+. My coordination was off. I could shoulder press the weight all I wanted, but my lack of toes to bar sucked the life out of the workout.

I let myself down. I can honestly say I am disappointed with my performance. BUT, I have to deal with disappointment like I deal with any failure. Acknowledge it, fix it, and move on. At this point, I'm not sure it is worth repeating. I blamed my problems with movements that hang from a bar on the weight I had gained from the pregnancy. Most of it is gone now and so is that excuse. Rather than mope around, I'm trying to figure out how to overcome such a craptastic showing on 12.3.

Source
First thing is first - attitude. Despite the performance, a good attitude will help prepare for the future. Beating myself up for a past performance I cannot change only slows down progress. Second - fresh start (aka clean that shit up). Diet, sleep, and workout priorities are going through a rework. Drill weekend eating is not my friend. I have a five month old that wakes up to nurse once at night and I have to pump in the middle of the night. A straight shot at sleep isn't possible. I can meet this halfway by calling it quits on stupid shit that keeps me from getting to bed early and taking naps. Also, I knew toes to bar were my weakness. I need to get logical with the weak parts. Third - maximize rest and fun time. Enjoying life reminds you of what's important. When you're not all ate up about workout numbers and performance, you may just be more relaxed and approach a workout with better emotional and mental capacity. Forth - set aside the bullshit. The next two workouts. I will give blood. I may not be impressive, but I will drain my guts in the attempt to do so.

We have so many plans in place to prepare us for success. We train hard, eat well, and try our best to put recovery on the same plane. Being able to deal with disappointment is equally important. It's more than bouncing back. If you have an ounce of a competitive spirit, it is more than beating up on yourself. It's accepting a shitty performance and letting is spark something bigger.
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