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make it right

We all have a choice. Rarely can we say someone "made" us do something. Perhaps we persuaded ourselves the consequences of not doing something were worse than doing something, especially when doing something we don't want to do.

Right now, I'm sitting waiting for my husband to show up so we can head over to the gym again and do the Crossfit Games Open workout...again. I'm on a different diet, have allergies, multiple bloody noses, am recovering from an illness, am recovering from a week of hard workouts (for both the fitness prep, Crossfit, and CFE), a long week at work, CBTs up the yin-yang, drill weekend, a friend's birthday party, and mopping about my own aging earlier in the week. So I'm thinking - if I'm having a pretty shitty weekend, what the hell am I doing going to the gym again?

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It's that competitive side of me. Those who hate to be beaten know this side well. We have wrestled control of their lives from this side fight day-in and day-out to maintain a healthier balance of life. I did this once. Too many competitive events to train for at one time will undo it all. Out goes concern for sleep, recovery, and properly fueling every endeavor with good nutrition.

The new Crossfit Games Open format has me thinking. A lot. Now is the time to train, fuel, and recover. The balls/ovaries to the wall time is later. I have to get there first. I also have to consider the fact I want to compete on a team. It isn't just me I have to think about, but a potential team that may rely on me further down the road. Let's say my gym's team makes it to the next round. Here we are a step closer to our goals, but I've crapped on my own health so much I haven't gotten stronger or fitter. I may actually pull my body in  reverse and be of no help to my team. That'd suck for everyone.

What's my plan? I'm not backing out of anything I signed up for. Not in the least. I'm getting smarter about how I'm gearing up. The ability to do the Crossfit WOD multiple times isn't helping. While it's easy to try it once to get a feel for things and then again to really get a great score, may not be in my best interest. I don't think it's wrong, but I don't have the right mindset to take advantage of it. I need to just get there, not get there with the best score. Just get there. And while I'm doing that, I should be doing what it takes to make sure that when it is go-time, I'm at my best.

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Knowing I can repeat a workout for a better score caused me to hold back on the first workout. I need to work on going all out from the start. What happens then? I have no regrets about my performance, I can't say I didn't give it my all, and I get used to doing it right the first time. How am I to learn from my mistakes if I'm allowing myself such a loose leeway to make them? Even in more traditional sports where a majority of "things" are known do not have do-overs. If you scratch your jump in track, that's one down. Sure you have other attempts, but that's what I'm considering the other workouts as - my next attempt. What would Holmes on Homes do? Make it right.

This all good talk until I can make it happen. Maybe I'll start this now...or next week :P
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