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Why do I do this to myself?

I don't expect to be great at all things. I expect to try things I know I'm not great at. I practice skills I'm strong at and try to be ferocious attacking weak skills (aka weaknesses). I don't want to be familiar with a weakness. I want to be BFF's with it. I want to let it know it is not the boss of me. Example. I'm not a fan of center stage. I'd rather share the spotlight with a friend or completely give it to another completely. To me, it's pretty scary. What to do? Step out of the comfortable, familiar Crossfit box I've been living in and enter a figure competition.

Competition judges will not care about my Fran time. They won't ask about my dead lift. I'm excited to be trying something different and scared because I'm out of my comfort zone. By myself. On a stage. To be judged. I am unfamiliar with the entire process. Become comfortable with a it, right? Someone remind me of that when I trip on my heels while walking :) This is a serious issue though. I'm a fan of individual sports, but the fear of center stage has driven me away from many non-sport experiences. I was prepared, I was ready, but I also felt eyes start to converge on me. I hate that feeling. Scary. What better way to get over that then to be on a stage for the sole purpose of having people put eyes on me?

Last week, there was a Talk to Me Johnnie post titled What are You Training For. It inspired me to make sure I'm doing what I need for my training purposes, whether it's a weakness or a strength.  To test that concept, you should try something specific in it's own setting...away from the gym. How else will you know if your skill sets are worth their weight? If you can make up for a weakness with a strength and still have a good workout time, that's great. But with the wrong mindset, it does nothing except encourage "gaming" of the system at the expense of making yourself better. How will I know I'm comfortable with my weakness if I don't do something specific to being center stage? Train to attack your weaknesses.

Weakness is limiting. It can be physical or mental in nature. I need to find it and beat the crap out of it. To do otherwise is to accept mediocrity. I equate weakness to fear. It is the fear of failure as much as it is the fear of success. To me, being fearless does not mean the lack of fear itself. It means finding your fear, confronting it, and beating the tar out of it. If you win, great. But it is impossible to lose. You don't have to be great, just up to the challenge. Whether your weakness is crappy Olympic lifting form or crowded spaces, be fearless in your pursuit. Search out the cause of your weakness. You'd be surprised to know how many physical weaknesses stem from what's going on inside your head. If you think you do not have a weakness, let me rephrase it for you - you are comfortable at being weak.
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