Skip to main content

Blog catchup post #3, I feel bad

I feel bad for not feeling bad. I passed my fitness test. I feel bad because I don't feel bad for not getting 100%. There's a scale to the exercises. I maxed out all except the run. I could have run fast enough to get maximum points, but I did not...and I don't feel bad for not giving it my all. That is why I feel bad.

Some history - last year, I had maximum points on the run with a 12:08 mile and half time. It was sad. That is not a fast run. I felt that a system where I could do so well with trying so little must not be a good marker of a perfect score. I didn't give it my all this time around either...but I didn't get a perfect score. It feels right though. It's my punishment for not putting forth my best effort. I don't feel bad about that.

I DO feel bad about not knowing why I didn't try harder. It was like my goal for my triathlon - survive and live to run tomorrow (literally, I ran the next day). Thoughts on this? Maybe I'm beginning to prioritize my energy expenditure. Is it worth it to kick it into high gear and pay for it in other ways? Is it wiser to be conservative and keep my body in condition to train for Crossfit events and the 5k I have coming up soon? Maybe next year I'll be able to cruise at a higher speed so it's not the same discussion in my head.

Popular posts from this blog

don't give me your attitude!

I’m tired. I’m sure there are many people out there who are tired too. Perhaps you're more tired than I am. So what the hell am I doing blogging when I could be napping? I’m trying to get the word out – sometimes you have to work your ass off!!!
It’s time for another physique competition. This time, hubby is also prepping for his first physique competition too. It’s been the typical love/hate thing going on. And how can it be anything but? My husband and I are at opposite ends of most any spectrum. I put on mass by looking at weights and he has to tinker with any plan that would work for anyone. I put on mass by looking at food, while he can't shovel enough food down his pie-hole. I like waking up and getting my cardio done first thing, he can barely wake up to pee. So, it would seem that we're not all that similar.
If we took everything at face value, it would seem we are fairly different. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes though. We both have contest preparation…

Dream Planning Realization #1

For quite some time, I could tell my life has been slipping away from me. Not in that dying sort of way, at least not physically. However, I have sunken more into my work in the name of having a better life and all I have to show for it is - more work. Not exactly the way I thought I'd be digging myself out of the work hole. It isn't that I view my work as a hole and am unhappy with it. I love my jobs. I do. And that's part of the problem. They give me a means to meet other needs, while still being pretty darn likable. So I don't realize when I need to pull back to focus on the other things in my life. You know about the other things - friends, family, health, wellness. Things. Example - I work to earn money so I can take my family on trips to neat places. I have worked. I have made money. We haven't gone anywhere. For the past few years, my brother has been living in different places and it wasn't until recently that we ventured out his way for a visit. We m…

I'm Still Alive

Really. I am. Go figure the moment I have time to write something is the moment it all leaves me. I've been keeping a notebook to write things down throughout the day. It's done wonders for my shopping lists, my "to Google later" list, and my WTF Why Not list. Totally forgot about the blogging though. In the mean time, let me tell you that I'm still me. I've spent more time working than working out and I'm fighting to find my way through it all. I'll let you know how it goes. So far, I've identified my shortcomings: the office candy dish, lack of better options, not going to bed earlier, and straying off tasks. Stay tuned for what the hell I do to find myself back to my sane spot...