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Blog catchup post #3, I feel bad

I feel bad for not feeling bad. I passed my fitness test. I feel bad because I don't feel bad for not getting 100%. There's a scale to the exercises. I maxed out all except the run. I could have run fast enough to get maximum points, but I did not...and I don't feel bad for not giving it my all. That is why I feel bad.

Some history - last year, I had maximum points on the run with a 12:08 mile and half time. It was sad. That is not a fast run. I felt that a system where I could do so well with trying so little must not be a good marker of a perfect score. I didn't give it my all this time around either...but I didn't get a perfect score. It feels right though. It's my punishment for not putting forth my best effort. I don't feel bad about that.

I DO feel bad about not knowing why I didn't try harder. It was like my goal for my triathlon - survive and live to run tomorrow (literally, I ran the next day). Thoughts on this? Maybe I'm beginning to prioritize my energy expenditure. Is it worth it to kick it into high gear and pay for it in other ways? Is it wiser to be conservative and keep my body in condition to train for Crossfit events and the 5k I have coming up soon? Maybe next year I'll be able to cruise at a higher speed so it's not the same discussion in my head.
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